Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
