last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Randomize
