He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
