Someone shit on the floor
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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