She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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