I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
