evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
