she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Randomize
