just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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