just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
