operation harelip BJ is a go
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
