that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
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