Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
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