dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
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