will power is for people who don't want to get laid
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Randomize
