Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
