I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Randomize
