oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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