At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
it hurts more in the daytime
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
