i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Randomize
