There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
