There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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