It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I still have a little drunk in my system
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
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