We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
