FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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