That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
me + whiskey = a bad person
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Randomize
