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• (718): View more from New York

  Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.

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• (562): View more from California

  he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.

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• (818): View more from California

  She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.

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• (845): View more from New York

  no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.

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• (443): View more from Maryland

  Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ

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• (315): View more from New York

  Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.

  (1-315): View more from New York

  Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?

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• (256): View more from Alabama

  I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.

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• (971): View more from Oregon

  Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"

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