this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Randomize
