all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
