i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
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