Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
I accidentally had phone sex last night
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
