I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
