So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I love you. Go after that dick
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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