well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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