id be glad to
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
