They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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