Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
