In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
