It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
don't judge my taste in strippers
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
