Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Randomize
