nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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