Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
