Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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