addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
