I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
false alarm, still single
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
