when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
