Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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