Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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