Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
