Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Randomize
