well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
