Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
and she was petting her beer can
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
