I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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