Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
