# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
